My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
