I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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