What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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