I skipped work to stalk him.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
