u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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