I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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