He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
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Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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