I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think a kid would responsible me up
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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