Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
