I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Holy shit dude........stairs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
