Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
