how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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