dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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