did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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