Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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