is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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