dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
