What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
