I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
