is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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