I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Welp...herpes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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