I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
