you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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