This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
