Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
