I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize