Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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