There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
