I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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