So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
