Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize