The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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