Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
