does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
