Porn is love you can see.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
