is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
