Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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