Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
no you cant smoke seaweed
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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