you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
