you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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