She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
