I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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