BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
