i think my tv is drunk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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