Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
