Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
areolas are like halos for boobs.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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