so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
