508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
