i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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