The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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