I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
