OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can feel your judgement through the phone
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
