wakey wakey hands off snakey
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
