She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So much rum. So many feels.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
