theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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