god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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