That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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