I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
