WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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