My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
