They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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