Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
