I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
