I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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