i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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