i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize