My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
